There are only two types of coaches, or so I'm told.
Those that have been sacked and those who are about to be sacked.
'The Dark Knight' put a good spin on it, too, when Harvey Dent offered the cautionary tale of best intentions corrupted by time, incompetence, meddling or something other, "you either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."
Mick's tenure at the Carlton Football Club has become a morbid death watch. You don't need to examine the tea leaves to glimpse the future, either. We all know how it's going to end; we even have a fair idea when. No later than 7pm, Sunday the 6th of September.
He'll not get another contract. Nor should he, given the extraordinary way he has us playing. Losing based on talent I can accept, but losing because we're tactically and structurally outwitted every week is something I refuse to cop. We're incapable of playing the fast break, slingshot style of football every decent team plays, and I don't believe that's purely down to a deficiency in talent.
We're so bad we can't create more than one or two lead up, hit up opportunities each and every week.
Several of our players, some of whom are our better players, look lost. The wander around the field looking as though they're not sure what they're meant to do next.
Given the context of our season and yesterday's crowd (our lowest in 10 years the papers and press guffawed) if the next two games go the way we fear - and all accept they will, lets be honest - we should have a new coach by our next home game, Round 10 v Adelaide.
Mick leaves, new man comes in (I like Barker for the role in the short term, plus he's been one of the first to be undertaking those European-style coaching badges, which validates the scheme as far as the AFL is concerned) and we get a little bit of a pep-up in preparation for a game we need people to attend.
It's an economic reality that we cannot continue with Mick. It's not his salary - though we'll not be paying a coach anywhere near that figure in the foreseeable future - it's the effect our form and the cumulative dark cloud of press rhetoric and supporter disgust/disinterest has on the bottom line.
Members don't sign up because of him. Fans don't go to games because of the way the team is traveling. All other money making avenues take a hit because of it. Losing, simply, costs us too much money.
The club has to build a story around that round 10 match and beyond, a compelling reason to attend and invest in the club, and that story is contingent upon change. Whether the interim coach inspires wins is kind of immaterial. What he has to inspire is a product worth being bought. At the moment nothing about Carlton - memberships, event packages, merchandise, match tickets - is particularly attractive. This can be done via very simple PR.
Our new coach must be the antithesis of Mick: Young and personable. He'll be issued a mandate to back youth, to play the kids, to encourage attractive and imaginative football. He'll sit in front of the press and make a commitment to the fans, telling us the kids, who he'll name, will get their chance under him. He'll tell us to be patient, but change is in the air.
He has to be the one delivering the message, not that lame duck LoGuidice. The club is fortunate few journos have the care or wherewithal to go after him. He's hopeless and shouldn't be delivering key messages.
"I want us to play exciting, direct football." We don't do that now.
"I want to blend youth with experience, I want to see what these kids can do and will give them the chance to prove their quality." We don't do that now.
"I want to see us kick goals and move the ball quickly. I want my players to back themselves and take risks." We don't do that now.
"I have faith in my players to win one-on-ones, which can create opportunities for us." We don't do that now. We tag everyone. Few of our players have purely offensive tasks.
Suddenly the product changes. Suddenly there's a slight, barely perceptible silver lining running along the contours of that dark, black cloud. Fans are intriugued as to how we'll go, the heavy weight is lifted off our shoulders and we are a team worth supporting.
I accept this fails to address the gluttony and utter amateurish nature of our board, but it's at least one step in the right direction.
If our season follows the script, 11:30pm on the night of May 29, 2015 could well offer the chance for change. Those in charge will just have to seize it.
_________________ Whatever happened to this club I wish I understood We used to be so strong We used to be so good
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