Well, I was lucky enough to be at the club today and see Mick get straight into the job after the press conference.
Here's what I observed.
1. Mick walked out and past the Cafe where a women was saying her coffee was too hot. MM heard this and told her that we like it hot here and if she doesn't like it leave and don't come back. Told Jason Johnson only raw meat will be sold to players for lunch. Anyone wanting a Latte or Salad will be sacked.
2. He then walked into the Merchandise shop and grabbed all the white and light blue jumpers and burned them. Nothing but Navy Blue is to be sold from now on.
3. He then went past the display of Premiership Cups and told Swanny to order a new cabinet with a lot more room.
4. All players were waiting in the Gym for MM to address them. He walked in and without introduction told Juddy that he needs to improve and if he doesnt like it P1ss off. All other players were tole whatever Judd did was the "minimum" requirement.
5. He introduced Craig Bradley as the new running coach for Bryce Gibbs. Gibbs was tied to Bradley via a 2 metre long piece of rope and told to stay with him where ever he went. Braddles started straight away on a run to Sorrento and back as a warm up.
6. Kruezer was put on a stretching machine and was told not to get up until he added atleast 6 cm to his height. All post season operations were cancelled and MM told players to get over it. McIness was told to start running now and stop sooking.
7. At this point Thornton and Russell tried to sneak back in but MM chased them out of the room and out of the carpark and were told not to come back.
8. All players where given a list of 208 non negotiables for the pre season. They were also given a copy of his book and told a test on the book will be conducted on Thursday. It will be in essay form.
9. Reduce pre season break from 4 weeks to 4 hours. All players where told that a time trial will be held on Oct 1 and anyone not beating their best time by 10 seconds will be placed in the remedial group.
10. Casboult, Mitchell, Waite, Garlett were given a rubbish bin full of footballs and were told to practice goalkicking from ranges between 30-60m. They are not to finish until they kick 100 goals consecutively.
11. Announced new slogan for 2013. "Revenge is sweet"
12. Set goals for 2013. Undefeated and Premiership.
13. Rang his Doctor and booked in Eddie McGuire for check up. Worried about Head exploding and thinks in best interest he should step down as President.
14. All players were then told hit the track for a light 3 hour run. Balls were introduced and a rope was placed around centre of the ground. Any player kicking into roped area was shot.
15. A portrait of Tony Jones was placed between goals. Any player to hit this was given $100.
16. After this it became a "closed session" as Bucks was seen walking around ground.
17. MM's final comment was he will not be starting until 01 November when he will get down to business.
18. Synbad, Doc S seen on boundary with their sakc Ratts shirts being burned and new "I told you so" shirts being worn.
19. Cazzeman seen exiting the ground with Russell and Kruezer in tears? Not sure why.
20. Mathieson, Pratt, Fahour, Maclure seen trying to shake MM hand and welcome him. MM told them to go up to his office and empty his rubbish and he would like a Steak Sandwich for lunch and make it quick.
21. Announced the change of the "Blue Print" to now be "Micks Master Class". Discussion will now be on Marxism, Roman Empire, History, Civil War, The Ice Age, Politics in a Dictatorship, Why Journo's are idiots, Global Warming and how to fix it and how to breed Ox in a slow world rotation.
22. Sponsors lined up at Swanny's front door. Membership already totalling 75 000 for next year.
23. MM immediately cancelled deal with Etihad. Commented we don't win Premierships at Etihad and will play games only at MCG even if it means we suffer from chronic big game fatigue. Northern Blues, now known as the Carlton's duplicates will play at the MCG as well. Announced that Mark Williams applied for the job as "reserves" coach but MM wanted someone with better credentials.
24. MM announced he will be on board of Visy, Australia Post & Woolworths. Needs to keep life balanced.
25. Replaced Ian Coutts with Christi Malthouse in charge of Communications.
26. Went off to lunch with Twiggers & Megan Gale to Travis Clokes place. Jumped into NEW environmental Hyundai i30. Black Lexus with number plate "Bucks No2" and L Plate seen being towed away from carpark.
I think that's what happened?
Updated.
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