7.30am: Get up, have breakfast with the family. Think milk will be the best choice to accompany weetbix, but Sticks has invited himself over, and overrules me by pouring a six pack of Crownies over them instead. Knew this would happen. He's scaring the new born, and about to launch into another rendition of Stand By Your Man...the kids are starting to recognise swears amongst whatever else he's saying. Knew this would happen. Send him down to Percy's. Still not convinced. Send Aaron Joseph to follow him just to be safe.
7.35am: Subject of breakfast table conversation surrounds the oldest of the Ratten clan facing problems with a school bully. Knew this would happen. You only have to look at the bully's stats this year, and they're nothing short of impressive. Not even half way through the school year, and he's 40% up on his chinese burn effectiveness from last year, and pocketed at least $78 more than this time last year also. Make no mistake, this will be a challenge for Ratten Jnr. If he sticks fat, I reckon he'll overcome this. Leave him with some words of advice that I think might just come in handy.
8.15am: Drop the kids off at school. After the kids' teacher complained that I got a bit too carried away, observing their classes from the sidelines and cheering them on during multiplication tables, decided to watch on from the safety of the car. Sit in the back seat. Richo and Brownie are there with me for some reason. What was really pleasing was Ratten Jnr going right up to the bully and having a real crack. Unfortunately, he decided to reel off stats to the bully about the likelyhood of Johnny Ruffo winning Dancing With The Stars ahead of Fev. Really not a good look for him to have his underwear hanging over his ears whilst still wearing them.....even if the underwear isn't even visible behind those trademark Ratten ears....but we'll look over it during the week, and go from there. Still early doors.
9am: Arrive at the club, can't say I'm surprised that Matt Clape is now answering the phone, and Adrian Whitehead is now assisting some of the boys with running coaching...on one leg no less. Angry email from Jeannie in the inbox, asking me if I knew 5000 members from last year yet to renew, or if I had a spare room at home to house a few shipping containers full of "I AM ONE OF 50,000" merchandise. I check with Sticks as to whether I should reply, he asks Browny. Browny swears at me for a good 10 minutes, go and hit up Jason Johnson for a coffee. Come back, and he's still rolling out profanity as thick as Tom Bell's behind.
11.30am: Finish watching the tape of Sunday's game with the rest of the coaching staff. Pity Bomber Riley has to leave early, having strained his neck from nodding too much. Really happy with not just how the stats are coming along, but the stats categories also. To the average supporter, you might just see contests squibbed, but to us, we saw contests squibbed forward of centre, contests squibbed at the clearances and contests squibbed whilst the opposition rebounded off half back. This was an area of focus for us this week. After an hour of back and forth between the coaching staff, we were happy with the outcome....Barks likes horsies.
11.45am: Personal phone call from Robert Walls. Exchange pleasantries. Good to hear from an ex-Carlton champion.
12.45pm: Got as far as what my plans for dinner were. Loaded question, Wallsy still going on about how undisciplined Jarrad Waite is, and how Bret Thornton gives away silly free kicks. Have to go as call waiting from the school. Ratten Jnr has found himself the target of the school bully again. Knew this would happen. That's it. Drawing a line in the sand here. Sending Bryce Gibbs down to the school to sort this out once and for all. Some may question this as a misuse of the time of a #1 draft pick, a talented football and someone with probably something better to do. These people clearly haven't seen where we play him each week.
1pm: Sticks walks in, wearing only a pair of Carlton boxer shorts and a KFC bucket on his head, carrying another six pack of Crownies wanting to know if I wanted a cold one. (I think....). Send him to Mil's.
1.15pm: Walk out onto the hallowed turf of Princes Park in an attempt to clear my head and focus on preparing for Melbourne this week. Bump into Brock McLean practising his goal kicking. As part of my ongoing development as a senior coach, find its always important to engage the players in earnest, frank discussions about things that sometimes aren't even football related. Lucky, I have some really interesting burnout related stats handy for Brock, who nods his head earnestly. We walk back toward the clubrooms as we chat enthusiastically about Brock's passion, turn my shoulder, and realised he's now 50m behind me and sucking in wind.
1.30pm: Go to the cafe for a late lunch. Bump into Matthew Watson in the line. Literally. Bloke didn't see me coming. Bounced off across the floor. Sat in the foetal position in the corner of the Carlton shop sucking his thumb for the next hour..
2pm: Return to office.. voicemail full of phone calls from Dean Bailey and Mark Harvey offering their support. Strange...
2.15pm: School calls again. Want me to pick up Bryce Gibbs from sick bay with severe chinese burns. Knew this would happen. Calling it a day. Off to drink Crownies with Sticks...
_________________ BLUES 2010: PAV AND JUDD = FLAGS. DOING IT FOR THE LOVE OF DICK PRATT.
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