Someone has to - oh and before you get the whips out and scream "yeah baby, that's what I'm talking about!" I'm not talking about Voss, about the gaggle of coaches, about the strut of players or about the whirling dervish of our Board. I'm talking about us, the catastrophising, hair-pulling us, we the punters, the screamers, the I-paid-my-money-so-give-me-what-I-wanters.

We are in no position to cast the first stone (though I'm guessing some of the boys and coaches are carrying little lumps from the rocks tossed already

but to the truth

this is all my fault - there I said, I have confessed. The whole thing, from '96 onwards - my fault!

How so?

Well first lets put the cat on the mat and stare at the feline self-possession my stance incorporates.

I cause a lot of things...I have known this since I was young. I do something and the outcomes change.

Example 1:
Billy Pole was going to rip my bloody head off (I won a few of his best marbles off him and he was angry). On the way to school that day I decided that the only way I was going to survive Billy's attack was if I polished my favourite marble seventy five times non stop. (why seventy five - maybe I couldn't count any higher, or maybe it was the age of my Pop, I don't @#$%&! know, details, blah blah blah details... Anyway I did (polish) and he didn't (kill me).

Example 2: The deal sealer.

GF 1970 - sadly dad didn't get me a ticket I had seen '68 and '69 so was really sad about not going to '70 (and how was I to know of them all that was not the @#$%&! one to miss!!!!). I even told dad we'd lose now that I wasn't going (a bit silly really considering I did go in '69 and look what happened there!).

Halftime and we are in a world of trouble. I turn off the radio go into the backyard with my footy and while kicking the ball around I let go of my sadness for not going and tell the footy Gods I'll was being stupid and that Carlton should not be punished for my silliness.

Well we all know it worked - I mean look what happened after halftime...

So I have this power...but I [REDACTED] up.

In '96 I work at Trinity (96 & 97 not great years for the Bluebaggers) then I stopped at the end of 97 and suddenly we begin to grow again. All the way to '99 and yes a lose but a GF lose I'd take that in a heart beat over the plethora of wooden spoons we now possess.

In 2000 I return to work at Trinity...and look what happens!!!

So see its me, its my fault. I single-handedly brought this great club to its knees...alright I had some help with paper bags head up their arses presidents and suchlike, still I claim the greater portion of responsibility. I should not have returned and stayed there...Look at the result. One [REDACTED] up club.

Now I hold little expectations for the club this year (I'm still working) but I retire at the end of the year so really while I'm confessing I'm also cheering from the dizzy heights of prescience. Next year I am not at Trinity - I give it three years then and we'll be holding the trophy aloft.

So despair for this year, but please don't blame the club...they have been working against a force greater than their efforts.

But next year...
Or the year after...
Or the one after that...

Really what's time anyway but a social construct so seasons' tickets could be sold!

I am sorry, humbly so, but bear with the club, and forgive me my choices, not long to go now.

postscript - tonight I am not going so if we are behind at halftime I'm going outside and I'll make another deal - it will work again won't it...

WON'T IT!!!!

Simply put the club has performed so poorly over the last 22 years because it has been stuck in the past

I knew I should have included pictures....

We've all known for years that you enjoy polishing your favourite marble...

We've all known for years that you enjoy polishing your favourite marble...

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