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Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night
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Author:  keogh [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:02 am ]
Post subject:  Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Exclusive

I have somehow gained access to Brett's planned address to the players this Saturday night.
It has been a torrid 3 months for the great coach. He has tried everything to get the boys up and nothing seems to work . It seems that now even Brett himself is resigned to the fact that he has lost the players.

So Ratts in his esteemed wisdom has resorted to humour to at least make the boys run onto the famed Etihad surface with a smile on their dials and to simply enjoy their footy.

' Well boys did you hear the one about the game between the elephants and the invertebrates. Well if you haven't the elephants lead by 20 goals at half time. The invertebrates lacked size, structures, a power forward and their captain Chris the crustacean had been suspended for 4 weeks for snapping Stuart the spider's leg off in an intra-club training session( atleast Chris didnt try to eat him like Stuart's 6 previous wives).
Anyway I digress. The ball is bounced to start the third and the elephant ruckman taps it down. Michael the millipede sharks the ball, three bounces, two blind turns and a fifty metre running snap and Bobs your uncle the invertebrates have their first goal of the afternoon.
As the ruckman elephant trotts back to the centre for the next contest he saddles up to Michael and says" Hey mate didnt see you on the field in the first half. On the bench were yah"

Michael replies " Well yes and no. I was just putting my footy boots on" '

So endeth the lesson and the blueboys went out and lost to the doggies by ten goals.

Author:  bluehammer [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:26 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

what a peculiar thread.

early doors.

Author:  tommi [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 9:49 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Image.......!


kindest regards tommi

Author:  teknodeejay [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Love him, hate him or indifferent, I reckon the endless cheap shots at Ratten are getting increasingly unfunny. He may be considered not the man for the future by some/many, and he may have shortcomings that some/many people don't like, but at the end of the day he's the current coach and he loves the club. Give him *SOME* respect in that regard.

Author:  blues8182 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:44 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

teknodeejay wrote:
Love him, hate him or indifferent, I reckon the endless cheap shots at Ratten are getting increasingly unfunny. He may be considered not the man for the future by some/many, and he may have shortcomings that some/many people don't like, but at the end of the day he's the current coach and he loves the club. Give him *SOME* respect in that regard.


Bravo Techno :clap: :clap: , I would like to see some of these keyboard experts do a better job.

Author:  The Rhino [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 10:51 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Image

Author:  hollywood43 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:10 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

teknodeejay wrote:
Love him, hate him or indifferent, I reckon the endless cheap shots at Ratten are getting increasingly unfunny. He may be considered not the man for the future by some/many, and he may have shortcomings that some/many people don't like, but at the end of the day he's the current coach and he loves the club. Give him *SOME* respect in that regard.


Spot on!

Author:  dane [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:21 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

i frequently laugh at keogh's work.

Author:  Heavs [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:22 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Image

Author:  keogh [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:43 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Seems I am copping at bit of a pasting which I deserve or
Some people take things too seriously when there isnt really anything left to say after the last 3 weeks
In light of this sarcasm, the lowest form of humour
is the best

Author:  cimm1979 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:53 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

keogh wrote:
Seems I am copping at bit of a pasting which I deserve or
Some people take things too seriously when there isnt really anything left to say after the last 3 weeks
In light of this sarcasm, the lowest form of humour
is the best


You're missing the point.

It's not funny.

Author:  Megaman [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:54 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Image

Author:  keogh [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:55 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

cimm1979 wrote:
keogh wrote:
Seems I am copping at bit of a pasting which I deserve or
Some people take things too seriously when there isnt really anything left to say after the last 3 weeks
In light of this sarcasm, the lowest form of humour
is the best


You're missing the point.

It's not funny.



If it was about Primus last year would you smirk at least

I think you have missed the point of the post :wink:

Author:  bosman [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 11:57 am ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

The game plan.

Oh sh1t - Kreuzer out so we have no ruckmen
Oh sh1t - Juddy out so we have no midfield.
Oh sh1t - Walker, Hampson and Waite out - no forward line anyway...

Just kick it around the wings and backline for 100 minutes...

Attachments:
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Author:  ThePsychologist [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:02 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

hollywood43 wrote:
teknodeejay wrote:
Love him, hate him or indifferent, I reckon the endless cheap shots at Ratten are getting increasingly unfunny. He may be considered not the man for the future by some/many, and he may have shortcomings that some/many people don't like, but at the end of the day he's the current coach and he loves the club. Give him *SOME* respect in that regard.


Spot on!


Couldn't disagree more and there is nothing funny about it. If he loves the club he should resign as its going backwards and fast.

As a coach I have NO respect for him and I am not going to pretend I do.

The longer he is there the worse it will get.

Author:  keogh [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:13 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Pity I have to come on here to explain myself.

It isnt just about Ratten
Its about the club and the people there who are @#$%&! the club up
people who appointed Ratts with a near handshake
Who will only be turfed out when someone challenges them and wins
because the people within cant see how inept they are


so folks it doesnt matter what he says Sat night and if we win lose or draw

because we are [REDACTED] anyway until there is proper change

By the way if you want to know where I heard the joke it was from an ex player in some Qld league who was told the joke by his coach at half time late in the season when the coach had exhausted all avenues of motivation. Rather ironic dont you think
The player reckons that as the players ran out after half time they were all laughing so much they were crying.
Well atleast they thought it was funny.

Anyway I might try another one on yas all about the reserves coach who could only fit in a 20 minute training session after school on a Friday because he had a full time job as a school principal, but that would be too unbelievable now.
wouldnt it

Author:  bluegirl72 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:25 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

oh, I get it keogh.
Michael is a millipede, so, it takes him a long time to put on 50 pairs of boots.

Yep, that is funny.


Why is he called Michael though?
You threw me there, with your analogies, because, as Chris was a crustacean, I thought maybe you meant Jammo was the ruckman..so I wondered why he'd take so long..or did you think he's such a bad player, that he disappeared for half the game.

Gee, sorry, I guess my post is a bit off track ,unfunny, and long winded.

Author:  marciblue [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:27 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Pretend I was never here...

Image

Author:  keogh [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:28 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

Unfunny debatable

longwinded maybe
off the mark definitely not

Author:  bluegirl72 [ Thu Jul 19, 2012 12:29 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: Ratts pre-game address to the players for Saturday Night

marciblue wrote:
Pretend I was never here...

Image





:lol: :lol: :lol: :thanks:
i needed that today.

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