Predict five things that will happen Vs Essendon*:


Carlton will kick more points than goals.

Fletcher's tackle on Garlett will be mentioned three times or more during the commentary.

Simpson will lead the possession tally.

A 'double goal' will be paid.

Walker will kick the first goal of the match.

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"One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds." - Frank Zappa

Commentators will talk about how much pressure Ratten is under
Mention will be made that Heppel is a star of the future
Walker's mark of the year will get a good run
Jobe Watson will get injured
Judd will get held at every contest without the commentators picking up on it, he'll get one free kick and the bumbers supporters will act like he's the umpires pet.

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Between our dreams and actions lies this world

The players will show up
They will play the national anthem
We will both laugh and cry
None of our boys will get injured
We will wonder why we were ever worried.

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That’s not a political statement — it’s a harsh reality, and we must act,” she said. “He is a clear and present danger to the things that keep us strong and free. I support impeachment.”

Monfries will take a dive and be rewarded for it
Davey will take a dive and be rewarded for it
Essendon*'s banner will include the word 'Brave'
Judd will be booed all day long
Commentators will continually refer to their injured players but not ours

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"I had to eat"

Yarran will take at least 10 running bounces.
Betts to kick at least 4 goals.
9 Goals or more kicked in the First Quarter. (collectively)
Judd for BOG.
Injury to at least 1 Essenscum player.

THIS.

Mark my words.

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"He was found guilty in June 2008 of assault with intent to cause bodily harm, an offence which carries a maximum penalty of 20 years jail."
And people are making his return to footy somewhat of a fairytale?

It's a Sunday game so it's Channel 7, Bwuuce, Tom Hartly and the Golden Tonsils.

a) Bwuuce will mention that Fletcher played as a schoolboy in a GF in 1993
b) The pre-game will be about James Hird's bravery, courage yada yada yada
c) Tom Hartley will say " that's rigght Dennis" 10 times and something really inoffensive at least 8 times.
d) Bwuuce will blow in his pant's at least 5 times, but only in passages of play involving Bombers players.
e) The guest player special comments person will be one of the following "flogs in a suit" and they will add nothing of any value to the broadcast whatsoever.
Hodge
Maxwell
Hreevolt

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I hope Essendon* folds.

My five things are

Essendon* will kick five of their goals resulting from free kicks two of which will be from 50 meter penalties

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If you allow the Government to change the Laws in an emergency
They will create an Emergency to change the Laws

1. Carlton will kick the first goal.
2. Carlton will kick the second goal.
3. Carlton will kick the third goal.
4. Carlton will kick the fourth goal.
5. Carlton will kick the fifth goal.

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Carlton will win!
Carlton will win!
Carlton will win!
Carlton will win!
Carlton will win!

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'The Carlton people are spirited & I'm the same as them, they have life in them, they have humor, they're arrogant, they're cocky & they're proud. And that's what I want my team to be.'

Most of mine have already been covered.

But two things I can CATEGORICALLY predict with total 100% confidence:
- They'll play the EXACT same recording of the national anthem that they have for the past 15 years
- The dominant sound of the night will be the booing of scum supporters because they're 15,000 cries of "BALL!" per minute don't yield results each time.

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WADA medical director Dr Alan Vernec describes Essendon* FC drug case as biggest scandal in team sport the world of sport has seen. #WC2WB

#GUILTY

Bingo words:

Injury cloud.

No.1 to a No.1.

Brave.

The Bombers have nothing to lose.

Straight sets.

Haven't won a final in 10 years.

The Evergreen defender.

Been a revelation down back (Yarran)

Been a revelation up forward (Walker)

The Big Irishman.

The 1999 Prelim.

Monfries takes the free kick.

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"I had to eat"

they do say 'the big Irishman' a lot don't they!

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That’s not a political statement — it’s a harsh reality, and we must act,” she said. “He is a clear and present danger to the things that keep us strong and free. I support impeachment.”

"Walker's got the sit......"

That's cheating JohnM, you've obviously used your media contacts to get Bruuces prompt sheet.

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I hope Essendon* folds.

They will cross to Richo on the boundary line 181 times and he'll always say something bleedingly obvious like "Dennis Armfield is wearing the sub vest on the bench".

.or when a player comes off and the doctors are looking at him, "yes Bruce he's come off and the doctors are looking at him"

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I hope Essendon* folds.

Mitch robinson will play just about his best game

Kruzer will clunk some big marks up forward

Garlett will kick 3 goals and be rewarded atleast twice for holding the ball

Brendan Fevola will be filmed in the crowd

Carlton Fans will start sing the club song while the game is still in progress

Five things, quarter by quarter:

1st Quarter:
Umpires will change their interpretation on throwing
Umpires will change their interpretation on holding
Umpires will change their interpretation on push in the back
Umpires will change their interpretation on deliberate OOB
Umpires will change their interpretation on prior opportunity

2nd Quarter:
Umpires will change their interpretation on throwing
Umpires will change their interpretation on holding
Umpires will change their interpretation on push in the back
Umpires will change their interpretation on deliberate OOB
Umpires will change their interpretation on prior opportunity

3rd Quarter:
Umpires will change their interpretation on throwing
Umpires will change their interpretation on holding
Umpires will change their interpretation on push in the back
Umpires will change their interpretation on deliberate OOB
Umpires will change their interpretation on prior opportunity

4th Quarter:
Umpires will change their interpretation on throwing
Umpires will change their interpretation on holding
Umpires will change their interpretation on push in the back
Umpires will change their interpretation on deliberate OOB
Umpires will change their interpretation on prior opportunity

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Kyle Reimer will kick a goal and act like a flog celebrating.

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Premierships: 1869, 1871, 1873, 1874, 1875, 1877, 1887, 1906, 1907, 1908, 1914, 1915, 1938, 1945, 1947, 1968, 1970, 1972, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1987, 1995.

"GIBBS."