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My Dear Blue Brothers & Sisters,
I apologize that on my maiden post on this board that I am going straight for jugular, but I have sat around patiently for nearly eight years for things to be righted at our beloved Blues...but, it is 2010, and we seem no closer to the flag than 1999.
Fifteen years have passed by since our last flag. FIFTEEN YEARS!!!
At Carlton, that is an unacceptable eternity.
Do you think old Kenneth Luke would have stood for that? Do you reckon old Georgie Harris would have allowed this deathly state to fester? Ricey would have been kicking arse and sacking like a madman.
I cannot begin to imagine that big Jack would have accepted this ingrained mediocrity. No way.
No fellow Carltonians, this shit we are in is largely self inflicted. We have sat on our collective fat arses and done nothing, while our enemy #1, the team I cannot even name without getting homocidal thoughts is screaming past us at such a rapid rate of knots, that I fear they will dismantle every record we have held dear to our hearts.
Yes my Blue brethren, all is not well at Carlton, because we have turned it into one giant Social Security Department. In the old days, we were run like a ruthless business, now, we accept mediocrity served up to us in massive doses...and we keep taking...taking it up the clacker...again and again and again.
You know why? Because it is club legends that are feeding us this shit.
Sticks MUST fall on his sword now!
He was one of the most inspirational Carlton captains of all time...a leader of men, but let's not kid ourselves, intellectually, he is a midget.
Our present coach was once a player I felt embodied what it meant to be Carlton...now this Alfred E Newman look alike looks progressively more clueless with each passing week.
We need a new prez and a new coach.
We also need to go back to our old ways. The old Carlton ways where we got deals done. By hook, by crook, by bribes and intimidation if it was necessary - but we got things done.
Now we have a bunch of pissy pants who cannot close a deal if their lives depended on it.
When we got Pratt, I was overjoyed. The man knew how to bend and break the rules to get things done. He understood business and most important he understood the old Carlton ways. Old Dick (God rest his soul) understood that laws and rules were meant to be bent and broken and that paying bribes and payola was not a sin, but a necessary lubricant in business to get things done.
I want someone old skool Carlton to come back and take charge. A Roland Jabbour or a Mathieson type of character. Guys who understand business and the shady deals that need to be done and who understand and bleed Carlton.
Jabbour is a Lebo and is therefore my first choice. Lebs are shifty and understand that laws and rules are BS and that bribery, creative cap rorting etc are a necessity if we are to be #1 again. Mathieson has the bucks behind him and certainly understands where a kick back needs to be paid to get things done, but alas, this prick has kept a distance from Carlton in recent years. He enjoyed all the flags like the rest of us...enjoyed the bragging rights in board rooms, and now, he is doing SFA for the club.
Hence why a shifty, cunning Lebo is my first choice to take over the Presidency. He will orchestrate the deals required to get us back on top.
As for a coach, guys, Ratts can't cut it. He is loser with a losers mentality.
I want a winner. Someone who knows what it takes to coach a flag.
Roos? @#$%&! him, he is a mercenary.
Parkin/Walls - they both know what it takes to coach a Carlton premiership - but have they been out of the game too long?
Malthouse? This wily old son of a bitch has taken a shit club, with losers mentality and a shit list of players and won them a flag. I also wouldn't back against him doing it again next year (it sickens me to the stomach contemplating this).
I say we should offer Malthouse 2-3 million a year. Make him an offer he can't refuse.
Throw in some prostitutes on a regular basis on the side if that is his thing, whatever. Just get him to come to Carlton a restructure our club like he has done at those scum bastards.
Swanny is close friends with him, so I think it is not unrealistic that he can coax the crazy old bastard over.
Malthouse is known to be very close to his players...good, maybe we can snatch some of the scums best players from under their noses. I would love that.
Thirdly, we need a real recruiting manager, not that dufus Wayne Hughes who couldn't identify an able bodied live wire even if he was walking through Yooralla. @#$%&! him off - the damage is already done.
We need to get a team of cunning recruiters who will offer all kinds of inducements to prospects to play for Carlton. I felt sick in the guts watching that kid Sidebottom tearing it up in the GF...we took that flakey space cadet Yarran ahead of this ball magnet? Say it ain't so.
I used to always tell scum fans that Murphy was better than Thomas...loved giving it to them. But now I am not so sure. What I am sure of is that Pendlebury is better than both of them. Guns..yet we get stuck with a midget who will never get any better than what he is.
Don't even get me started on Gibbs! Recruiting that squib cost us getting Joel Selwood...a REAL player who goes in and gets his own ball. But no, we had to go for the pretty boy who doesn't want to get his knees dirty and will never do anything remotely team oriented.
I still have high hopes for Kreuzer...but we shall wait and see.
All I know is that we have Judd at his peak and he ain't getting any younger. Also, none of our soft cocks will lay a block for him and he is getting battered really bad. How much longer can he play at this level without protection before he breaks down?
Three years? Four years?
Can we win a flag in this time frame with everything as they are?
Not a bloody chance.
Judd is the messiah who can lead us to the promised land...but he needs help. On and off the field.
We need to go on a massive recruiting spree...offer cash in brown paper bags like the good old days, payola to player managers to play ball with us and hookers all round to keep everyone happy. Whatever it takes, just like the Carlton of old.
Sack the coach.
Piss off the Prez.
Approach every out of contract player in the land, plus others that are contracted.
Break the rules.
Break the law if necessary.
Remember Carltonians, this is not the NRL where flags and cups are stripped off you if you are caught.
The AFL are chicken shit.
Did the Bummers lose their 1993 and 200 flags when they got caught cheating the cap by miles?
Nope.
Did we get our 1995 flag and cup stripped off us for cheating the cap by millions?
Nope.
SO WHAT HAVE WE BEEN WAITING FOR?
If I have to live through another scum flag, I will go ballistic.
The time to resurrect Carlton is NOW!
Who is with me?
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