Michael Hurley gives away 15 free kicks for the night and eight 50 metre penalties

..... and after the game he decides to catch a cab home.

Ess lead by 26 points at 25 minute mark of final term. Reimers gets pinged for wasting time and after abuse gives away a 50 metre penalty. Walker duly goals. Margin now 20 points.
Ratten puts Betts in the middle alongside Judd & Grigg. Warnock gets a perfect tap to Betts who spots Simpson out wide. Simpson launches from 50 when Umpire McLAREN (you know he'll be doing this game) Spots holding against Hooker on Henderson. Hendo goals from point blank range.
Margin now 14 points. A bit more pushing and shoving. McVeigh knocks Murphy over. McLaren awards Murph the ball ten metres out - margin now 8 points.
Crowd at fever pitch now. Warnock taps to Judd who after a BLOCK from Grigg finds space and unloads from 45 - GOAL.... Margin now 2 points.
Essendon* panic and throw numbers behind the ball - 2 minutes left on the clock....
Ryder gets it to Watson who is forced to kick on his left - turnover as Gibbs takes the ball and with pinpoint accuracy spots Waite on the wing. Judd runs past and accepts handball. He runs to 55 and unloads. Fletcher caught under the footy slaps Hampson's arm and MCLAREN's whistle blows again. Livid the Ess defence remonstrate and another 50 metre penalty is awarded. Hampson goals - Blues by 4 points with a minute to play.
Ball back in the middle. Watson wins clearance, this time he spots Hille on a long lead but a poor kick sees it spoiled by Jamison. A DESPERATE Russell gets the ball and cleverly gets it across to Scotland. 45 SECONDS on the clock. Scotland holds the ball over his head. The Crowd arupt. Scotland looks in board and tries to get it back to Russell. The kick is poor and the ball ends up over the boundary line. Throw in with 35 seconds on the clock. Hille gets it to Hardingham who launches from 40 - ball goes wide. Margin 3 points. Russell goes to take the kick out. Crowd at fever pitch. No obvious options. Umpire Vozzo tells him to hurry up. 25 SECONDS on the clock, Russell decides to kick long and wide to Members side. Kick directed to Ryder though who marks. Carlton's zone falls down and Monfries is 30 metres in the clear. Ryder spots him and proceeds to kick... but wait the RED FLAG is up - Essendon* have an interchange penalty. CARLTON gain possession and 50 metres... Warnock handed the ball. He takes all the time in the world and launches from 50 - siren... Hurley marks the kick but it is game over - BLUES by 3 points

FINAL SCORE - CARLTON 15.9-99 Essendon* 14.12-96
Goals - Betts 2 Judd 2 Henderson 2 Hampson 2 Murphy 2 Walker Yarran Simpson Waite Gibbs.
Best - Judd Murphy Simpson Warnock Walker Scotland.

Ess lead by 26 points at 25 minute mark of final term. Reimers gets pinged for wasting time and after abuse gives away a 50 metre penalty. Walker duly goals. Margin now 20 points.
Ratten puts Betts in the middle alongside Judd & Grigg. Warnock gets a perfect tap to Betts who spots Simpson out wide. Simpson launches from 50 when Umpire McLAREN (you know he'll be doing this game) Spots holding against Hooker on Henderson. Hendo goals from point blank range.
Margin now 14 points. A bit more pushing and shoving. McVeigh knocks Murphy over. McLaren awards Murph the ball ten metres out - margin now 8 points.
Crowd at fever pitch now. Warnock taps to Judd who after a BLOCK from Grigg finds space and unloads from 45 - GOAL.... Margin now 2 points.
Essendon* panic and throw numbers behind the ball - 2 minutes left on the clock....
Ryder gets it to Watson who is forced to kick on his left - turnover as Gibbs takes the ball and with pinpoint accuracy spots Waite on the wing. Judd runs past and accepts handball. He runs to 55 and unloads. Fletcher caught under the footy slaps Hampson's arm and MCLAREN's whistle blows again. Livid the Ess defence remonstrate and another 50 metre penalty is awarded. Hampson goals - Blues by 4 points with a minute to play.
Ball back in the middle. Watson wins clearance, this time he spots Hille on a long lead but a poor kick sees it spoiled by Jamison. A DESPERATE Russell gets the ball and cleverly gets it across to Scotland. 45 SECONDS on the clock. Scotland holds the ball over his head. The Crowd arupt. Scotland looks in board and tries to get it back to Russell. The kick is poor and the ball ends up over the boundary line. Throw in with 35 seconds on the clock. Hille gets it to Hardingham who launches from 40 - ball goes wide. Margin 3 points. Russell goes to take the kick out. Crowd at fever pitch. No obvious options. Umpire Vozzo tells him to hurry up. 25 SECONDS on the clock, Russell decides to kick long and wide to Members side. Kick directed to Ryder though who marks. Carlton's zone falls down and Monfries is 30 metres in the clear. Ryder spots him and proceeds to kick... but wait the RED FLAG is up - Essendon* have an interchange penalty. CARLTON gain possession and 50 metres... Warnock handed the ball. He takes all the time in the world and launches from 50 - siren... Hurley marks the kick but it is game over - BLUES by 3 points

FINAL SCORE - CARLTON 15.9-99 Essendon* 14.12-96
Goals - Betts 2 Judd 2 Henderson 2 Hampson 2 Murphy 2 Walker Yarran Simpson Waite Gibbs.
Best - Judd Murphy Simpson Warnock Walker Scotland.

so..umm..where EXACTLY are your seats cimm1979?

A Carlton fan throws a BigMac at Campo whilst yelling "Can you smell what the Blues are cooking?''.....David Hille stops to eat it and misses the first bounce....we sweep the ball down to Carlos who marks and plays on and kicks the goalpost; and the Umpire pings him for holding the ball.

This is how bad I'm going, I actually started getting a nervous stomach reading that post.

If its that close on Friday my bowel will give out.