So yeah, hi guys, that loss really sucked, I mean we certainly didn't win, I can safely say that. I was so angry at tonight's performance, from about the 25 minute mark of the last quarter till about a minute ago, I've been reading the AFL rulebook cover to cover trying to find a loophole in the rules that we can exploit, and appeal to the AFL to overturn the result. I mean, it's worth a try right? There might be some little known rule from the early VFL days that they forgot to erase from the rule books, and before you know it, Gary O'Donnell, due to his Japanese heritage, should have spent the entire game in an internment camp, and voila! Score wiped to zero or something? Wishful thinking hey?
So then I started looking at recruiting rules. Maybe we could still get pick 1 & 2 from the 2002 draft back or something. But then it hit me like a ton of bricks.
There is nothing in the rulebook that states that those on an AFL playing list MUST be of human background.
Having done my research, and watched this guy play a couple of scratch matches, I now present who I INSIST MUST BE GIVEN A GO AT THE BULLANTS NEXT WEEK OR THE ENTIRE COACHING STAFF SHOULD BE SACKED IMMEDIATELY....
After tonight's embarassing performance, it is clear that we as Carltonians need to think outside the square a lot more than we currently do and we need to look at every available option in order to get us a 17th flag. Simply put, we need a bear.
Not Chris Bryan, but this bear. I dare the AFL to tell us "No, you can't field a bear in an AFL side", there's no rules against it, he'd be better than most of our current list,and he'd be cheap as chips.
"Oh, but how on earth do bears play footy?" you'd probably scoff at me. I don't care. Get Leading Teams to go and talk to the bear and find out how his head's screwed on. You think there's going to be much else in the draft pool this year after the Gold Coast takes every junior talent in this country who's ever kicked a footy? I think we have the sporting science facilities, like Justin Cordy to ascertain the bear's fitness levels and ability to pick up the skills of the modern game. I think we've got enough lawyers on our board (one's a QC yeah?) to take the AFL to court if they block this, and I reckon if we played a bear, our international membership and exposure would go through the roof. We'd have international tourists coming from kilometres and kilometres away to see the only ballsport in a world that features men legally competing against bears.
We see bears wrestle men in Queensland, and sometimes box them too. Why not footy? We'd probably not even have to pay him theminimum wage. Get him down to training, sign up his younger brother or his cubs if we have to sweeten the deal.
After tonight it is OBVIOUS that we are not going to win another flag until we think outside the square, and the answer is staring us smack bang in the face, and really you'd have to be an absolute idiot not to realise that another club is going to pull the rug out from under us and there'll be bears running out for Hawthorn and Sydney and Brisbane before you know it.
DRAFT BEARS, NOT FOOTBALLERS.
