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The "Carlton Story Translator" thread
http://www.talkingcarlton.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=27168
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Author:  bluehammer [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:09 pm ]
Post subject:  The "Carlton Story Translator" thread

Another pat on the back to the HUN for this story:

Essendon* Coach Matthew Knights Not Worried by Michael Hurley Knock

Oh! Brilliant.

I've since discovered that all stories are actually written in this way, insignificant, lacking in hyperbole and conspiracy, but that a select few are then passed through the Carlton Story Translator

So, now that I have access to the Translator, let's see how the story fares if we presume Michael Hurley were a Carlton player... Here's what we get.

Quote:
Essendon* coach Matthew Knights isn't worried about a knock to the heavily strapped hand of young star Michael Hurley.


"CARLTON coach Brett Ratten is reported to be concerned by the state of under-pressure young recruit Michael Hurley's right hand"

Quote:
Hurley appeared to favour his left hand at Bombers training today after he copped a knock during training on Monday.


"Hurley, who was arrested for assaulting a taxi driver recently in what has not yet been confirmed as a racial attack, appeared to favour his badly injured left hand during training on Monday. It has not yet been confirmed or denied by the club that Hurley had been drinking the night before. "

Quote:
The 19-year-old key-position player has just had plaster removed after post-season surgery and has trained with heavy strapping on his right hand.


"The struggling 19 year old utility, who played only a handful of games for the Blues in 2009, is thought to have raised the ire of Ratten, who has demanded answers as to why the recruit has not taken appropriate care after post-season surgery. "
Quote:
He played with a thumb injury last year after suffering a broken wrist playing for the Bendigo Bombers in May. He missed two months of football before starring for Essendon* late in the season.


"Hurley defied team orders to play with a thumb injury last year, just weeks after playing for the Northern Bullants in May. He missed two months of football, before returning to play some encouraging football late in the season. By this time however, Carlton's chances of a top 4 hope were dashed and Ratten, while stopping short of blaming Hurley for this, acknowledged that with the youngster around things may have been different. "

Quote:
"To be frank, he had an incident on Monday whereby he jarred his wrist, but he went in and the docs cleared him, and he came out and trained today, so that would be just a little bit of a flow-on from that," Kinghts told the AFL website.


"To be frank", said Ratten, "he had an incident on Monday whereby he jarred his wrist". Ratten did not suggest that this incident had taken place in the early hours of Monday morning, but sources close to the club have expressed concern about the recent string of alcohol related indiscretions that have struck the embattled club.

"He trained today", said Ratten, who still appeared angry that doctors had cleared Hurly to train.

Quote:
"There's a little bit of soreness still, but it was only a jarring incident, and he'll adjust."


"Ratten mentioned that Hurley was still sore, but stopped short of saying that he would miss the first 6 rounds of the home and away season.

This incident comes after the Blues traded embattled forward Brendan Fevola to Brisbane after a string of alcohol related incidents, has sanctioned Ryan Houlihan, Andrew Walker and Eddie Betts after a number of indiscretions following on from a booze cruise in which a young rookie was forced to drink.

Club president Stephen Kernahan was not available for comment, but was believed to be furious at the club's recent off-field troubles.

Carlton were fined $1mil and stripped of a bundle of draft picks in 2002 after salary cap cheating. The club, which has often been linked to underworld figures, still has work to do to improve it's tarnished image. This recent incident will not help in the short term."

Author:  Taff [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:18 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Brilliant!

Will come in handy as the year progresses and more dross emminates from the HUN.

:clap: :clap:

Author:  CK95 [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:30 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Told you we should've taken Yarran :banghead:


Oh wait...nice job bh

Author:  bluehammer [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 1:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

CK95 wrote:
Told you we should've taken Yarran :banghead:


:clap: :clap: :clap:

Author:  teagueyubeauty [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:51 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

:lol:

Author:  Megaman [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 2:52 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Can just imagine the pathetic journos trawling the site looking for stories and reading that :lol: very good.

Author:  Setanta for Pres [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:03 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Haven't bought a HUN since the "Good Riddance" "Get out of our State" headline about Fev. Get enough info from this site to cover what I miss and a laugh to boot. Well Done. :clap:

Author:  budzy [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:31 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Of course, we could just simply not give them any ammunition on a silver platter.


...but it's easier just to cry victim.

Author:  club29 [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:38 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

budzy wrote:
Of course, we could just simply not give them any ammunition on a silver platter.


...but it's easier just to cry victim.


Think you missed the point there Bud. Beating up an indian taxi driver isnt ammunition??

Author:  budzy [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:40 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

club29 wrote:
...

...Beating up an indian taxi driver isnt ammunition??


It's still before the courts ...and it got heaps of press.


The point is, don't give them ammunition.

Author:  Agro jr [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:49 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

budzy wrote:
club29 wrote:
...

...Beating up an indian taxi driver isnt ammunition??


It's still before the courts ...and it got heaps of press.


The point is, don't give them ammunition.



Agree but - as you say any of our stories gets heaps of press.

For example the Herald-Sun bury our "recruits get new jumper number story" with the Adam Hartlett issue.

Why wouldnt the Herald-Sun mention a throw away line about Michael Hurley's up coming court appearance for assault in the story about his injury.

It is just a pure example of the Herald-Sun's anti-Carlton stance.

I am happy for the Herald-Sun to highlight the misbehaviour of our AFL players - but apparently only 1/16th of the AFL Clubs have players that misbehave. :roll:

Author:  bluehammer [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 3:59 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

budzy wrote:
Of course, we could just simply not give them any ammunition on a silver platter.


...but it's easier just to cry victim.


PM from the Herald-Sun for you shortly, scoring so high in the 'relating two unrelated items' area, they'd like you to start on Monday.

Author:  budzy [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:04 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Image

Author:  bluehammer [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:06 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

budzy wrote:
Image


I think that baby is flipping me the bird. With his toes.

a call to "Report stories in a balanced way" does not equal "our players are saints leave them alone"

Chewbacca, a wookiee, from the planet Kashyyyk living on Endor with the ewoks DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.

Author:  The Normal One [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 4:32 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

bluehammer wrote:
budzy wrote:
Image


I think that baby is flipping me the bird. With his toes.

a call to "Report stories in a balanced way" does not equal "our players are saints leave them alone"

Chewbacca, a wookiee, from the planet Kashyyyk living on Endor with the ewoks DOES NOT MAKE SENSE.


It's Eddie!!

Author:  Big_T [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:35 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

:lol: :lol: :lol:
:clap: :clap: :clap:

I find it absolutely baffling that while getting drunk on your day off with your mates (a legal act which I participated in last weekend), gets more publicity than alleged illegal incidents allegedly done by players at other alleged clubs (none of which I have ever participated in).

Author:  Effes [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:36 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

heh

http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/b ... 5818993375

Author:  Agro jr [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:41 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Herald-Sun must be slipping as they didnt mention Adam Hartlett in that story - and missed out on including Karl Norman and Lawrence Angwin as well. :roll:

Author:  The_Cranium [ Wed Jan 13, 2010 10:57 pm ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Effes wrote:

Quote:
"To be frank, he had an incident on Monday whereby he jarred his wrist, but he went in and the docs cleared him, and he came out and trained today, so that would be just a little bit of a flow-on from that," Kinghts told the AFL website.


"To be frank", said Ratten, "he had an incident on Monday whereby he jarred his wrist". Ratten did not suggest that this incident had taken place in the early hours of Monday morning, but sources close to the club have expressed concern about the recent string of alcohol related indiscretions that have struck the embattled club. He would also not confirm that the 'jarring of the wrist occurred when he attempted to punch a crown casino security guard whilst handcuffed to a senior team mate"



you missed a bit...

And just for the record... I now get it... see once you are no longer associated with the Carlton Football Club, all is forgiven... hence Fev welcome back with open arms at Crown... Seriously WTF??? :confused:

Author:  Blueboy_Dan [ Thu Jan 14, 2010 3:07 am ]
Post subject:  Re: The Herald-Sun's "Carlton Story Translator"

Imagine if we were a soccer club, in the old NSL!

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