rumour has it that they where heading back to their offices to dine on some succulent steak nuggets prepared earlier by the Carlton Faithful
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| Another off-field Carlton incident- at least it isn’t Karl t http://www.talkingcarlton.com/phpBB3/viewtopic.php?f=2&t=1024 |
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| Author: | jezzarules [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:54 am ] |
| Post subject: | Another off-field Carlton incident- at least it isn’t Karl |
Apparently a Carlton player recently dropped his guts in a lift at AFL HQ!! Would normally have gone no further except that Jabba was in the lift and was apparently reduced to tears by the incident! Jabba insisted that his man Ada Ando throw the book at the as yet unnamed player. But once again it turned out there is no applicable AFL rule on the subject. A ‘bringing game into disrepute’ charge was considered but to no avail as all those in the lift were AFL insiders anyway. So Ada Ando sent Curly off to investigate world’s best practice in dealing with such matters. But they laughed at him. Then Parko offered to help out with a table of severities on the condition that his mate Schwabby gets the job to administer it. Apparently the alleged incident would be assessed as follows: - Silent but deadly - In a confined space - Without warning - Sufficient to cause tears 105 points and the player would be offered one week. In solitude. Channel Ed got wind of the incident (pardon the pun) and had signed an exclusive ‘tell-all’ contract for the player to appear on the footy show but the club have scuttled the idea. Sammy was to do a re-enactment of the incident to kick off tonight’s show. CGI graphics were to be used to create a life-like Jabba. Eddie has been quoted as saying “Look, we don’t treat our audience like idiots. Sure we cut the cricket off at six to put the news on and wouldn’t budge Burke’s Backyard for years. Those are long standing audience viewing habits and it’s not for us to mess with them. Let’s just put all that aside for a minute and focus on the facts. And I’ll tell you what the facts are. This is a matter of flatulence plain and simple. And if there is one place flatulence deserves an airing it’s on the footy show. Even Johnny Coward was asked for an opinion. He said it was a matter for the appropriate authorities and he had nothing further to say. But he then added that he found it ‘abhorrent’ that someone would commit such an act in such a confined space. And he also added that he hoped the matter received a proper airing before he comes to Melbourne for the Grand Final. Although on that matter he pointed out his son was considering a heavily discounted reception centre for Grand Final day and he may therefore be unavailable. Carlton Footy Club have refused to name the player other than to emphasize that for a change it is not Carl Normal. And a club official did confirm that the player in question was receiving counselling regarding his eating habits. |
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| Author: | George Harris [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 11:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
Jezzarules, is this a true story, or are you just blowing off? |
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| Author: | Kaptain Kouta [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
That's gold! |
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| Author: | Jarusa [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:07 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Holy Shit! |
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| Author: | billc3 [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:29 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Very...very good. Nothing like a fart gag to make you laugh |
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| Author: | molsey [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:33 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Jarusa wrote: Holy Shit!
Not quite there yet.... Jarusa |
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| Author: | CK95 [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
What a gas! |
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| Author: | Heavs [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 12:49 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Waaait, a minute, something stinks about this story. POW for sure. |
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| Author: | The Tyrant [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:05 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
hey guys! I just made some brownies. Who wants a piece? |
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| Author: | BlueMark [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:30 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
something smells about this story. |
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| Author: | stretford blue [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
it's an ill wind that blows no good... |
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| Author: | ScottSaunders [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 1:46 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
rumour has it that they where heading back to their offices to dine on some succulent steak nuggets prepared earlier by the Carlton Faithful
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| Author: | George Harris [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 2:13 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
But Dimwitriou had to drop his kids off at the pool first... the twin little shits. |
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| Author: | Wet Willie [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 3:57 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Blow me.... |
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| Author: | bluegirldanielle [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 4:38 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
Come on, name names - don't be so weak 
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| Author: | The Shag [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 6:37 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
that was a stinker..... |
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| Author: | Beantown [ Thu Mar 31, 2005 7:21 pm ] |
| Post subject: | |
This story's been over blown. Apparantly it was just a 1 cheek sneak. |
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| Author: | Kaptain Kouta [ Fri Apr 01, 2005 7:58 am ] |
| Post subject: | |
The case was dropped on video evidence, after it was revealed that AD, at the time the indiscretion was known to have taken place, lifted his leg slightly, and smiled to himself. He then apparently attempted to deflect the blame onto the Calrotn player when he realised the magnitude and true awfulness of the guff. As a result, Jabba has been issued with a warning for his attempt to "take a dive", and told to go on a course of charcoal tablets for his gastro-intestinal issues. He was also threatened with being rubbed out from using the lift for 1 week, but leniency was given due to his previously fart-free record, and also the thought of some poor bastard coming across his stinking corpse in a stairwell after he has an inevitable heart attack. |
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