The chick who plays bagpipes by Brunton Ave will be wearing Bombers colours and playing their theme song.

I have never seen her play the Carlton song ever.

Almost forgot. Robert Walls will write an article pumping us up. Stay tuned.

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Premierships: 1869, 1871, 1873, 1874, 1875, 1877, 1887, 1906, 1907, 1908, 1914, 1915, 1938, 1945, 1947, 1968, 1970, 1972, 1979, 1981, 1982, 1987, 1995.

"GIBBS."

Me thinks 99 Prelim will get a huge run in the lead up.

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Number 17 - come on down!

it'll take 10 minutes to get in the gates

it'll take 15mins to get a beer

it'll take 20mins to get a pie

Saw the bitch on Sat night dressed up in St kilda gear playing you know what

I was gong to ask her what school she went to

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Cheats never prosper (except in the AFL)

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i AM CARLTON

And you'll spend 24 hours regretting the last one.

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29 different attributes,
And only 7 that you like;
20 ways to see the world,
Or 20 ways to start a fight.

1. 99 Prelim will get lots of airings
2. Brave Bombers will be mentioned numerous times
3. Commentators will mention that Ratten is under pressure to get a result several times
4. Michael Longs run in the 93 GF
5. Bruce will exclaim 'Gee he's a beauty' several times

I expect Gartlett, Laidlaw, Matty Warnock, Doogan, Mitchrobertson and Zach Twomey to get amongst it.

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BLUES 2010: PAV AND JUDD = FLAGS. DOING IT FOR THE LOVE OF DICK PRATT.

HAVE YOU SIGNED UP FOR TALKINGCARLTON SUPERCOACH 2009 YET?

Expect a commentator to talk up a players Brownlow chances based on a good finals performance

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"I had to eat"

Average time between Carlton player being tackled & scum fans yelling BAAALLLL will be .006 of a nanosecond

There will be the usual handful of losers wearing non competing clubs gear

A lot of unnecessary announcements & music prematch

Metlink will be cursed right across Melbourne

If we lose I will eat my own shit

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#DonTheStash

And more specifically, he'll kick a goal and act like a flog, celebrating like he just won the Grand Final single-handedly when the Bombers are 5 goals down with 2 minutes to play.

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And so while others miserably pledge themselves to the pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will be stretched out in the shade, singing.

That includes all the Bummers fans, given they won't be remotely competitive.

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And so while others miserably pledge themselves to the pursuit of ambition and brief power, I will be stretched out in the shade, singing.