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 Post subject: Boring Carlton stories
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 2:04 pm 
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Wayne Johnston

Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 12:18 pm
Posts: 8166
Location: Australia
Once a long time ago when I was young I yelled at Michael Tuck as he chased a ball along the boundary at the MCG, I yelled that he was an old man and should retire. My mate told me to shut up as the Ablett clan was sitting a few rows behind us.


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 2:49 pm 
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Geoff Southby

Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:24 pm
Posts: 5537
Location: Bridge, Starship Enterprise
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?

Many ways, just cannot be told on a family friendly bog site. In general, how would she know as a dead fish, plus your new partner is prettier, better body, better IQ, better all round person. Can come up with more but you get the gist.

Just ask Teddy. Always up for the debate to hep BS.

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"Get ready, Teddy - you're on": Ron Barassi half time 1970 Grand Final


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 3:05 pm 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 8:35 am
Posts: 19436
Location: 父 父 父 父 父 父
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?
Blood is thicker that water. You and your sister need to get over it.

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Congratulations CK95


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 4:10 pm 
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Mike Fitzpatrick
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 2:41 pm
Posts: 4538
bluehammer wrote:
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?
Blood is thicker that water. You and your sister need to get over it.
Oldie.... But.... :lol:

Simple response... 'I never bothered trying'

Go Blues

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“Every single element of the Club has to be the best in the league, meticulously and methodically, and only by doing this will we be elite and challenge for number 17.”
Greg Lee


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 Post subject: Boring Carlton stories
PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 6:40 pm 
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Wayne Johnston

Joined: Thu Apr 21, 2005 12:18 pm
Posts: 8166
Location: Australia
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?


You could say, “Are you saying that ‘Oh!, Oh!, Oh!’, was a complaint?”


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:15 pm 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:53 am
Posts: 16655
Location: Left Cuckistan
In 1999 I was living in a caravan in my folks backyard saving up for a big overseas trip. My misso (yes, honeychurch) at the time turned up at halftime in the prelim. 15 minutes into the third quarter I was losing my shit at her being bad luck and politely (*not politely) asking her to please leave.

The next year I went to Africa (solo trip) and she broke up with me three weeks into the trip.

I still say I was in the right.

Next time I saw her was at a mutual friends wedding where a younger Scott Morrison was also a guest.

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The only way for some people to understand is for them to be on the receiving end

Left wing moralists
In self serving denial
They shit me no end


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 8:56 pm 
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Stephen Silvagni
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Posts: 28364
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Where in Africa?


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:05 pm 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:53 am
Posts: 16655
Location: Left Cuckistan
Sth, Zim, Namibia, Botswana, Swaziland, lesotho

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The only way for some people to understand is for them to be on the receiving end

Left wing moralists
In self serving denial
They shit me no end


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PostPosted: Sun Jan 19, 2020 9:07 pm 
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Stephen Silvagni
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That’s sweet. Would make breaking up even better.


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 20, 2020 12:42 am 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:56 am
Posts: 19501
Location: Progreso, Yucatan, MEXICO
sinbagger wrote:
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?


You could say, “Are you saying that ‘Oh!, Oh!, Oh!’, was a complaint?”

That was me, not her.

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Let slip the Blues of war (with apologies to William Shakespeare) (and Sir Francis Bacon, just in case)


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 7:01 pm 
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Ken Hunter

Joined: Thu May 11, 2006 6:11 pm
Posts: 14235
sinbagger wrote:
Once a long time ago when I was young I yelled at Michael Tuck as he chased a ball along the boundary at the MCG, I yelled that he was an old man and should retire. My mate told me to shut up as the Ablett clan was sitting a few rows behind us.

I have a similar story.
I was at the MCG yelling at Robert Walls, who was having a bad game.
A woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said that he was her husband.
I think we lost.


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 9:02 pm 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 11:53 am
Posts: 16655
Location: Left Cuckistan
I think I was about nine. I pulled a bit of that dot matrix printer paper off the thing at home, grabbed a ball point pen and wrote a super funny sign to hold up "Ronald McDonald is better than Donald McDonald".

I've always been funny.

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The only way for some people to understand is for them to be on the receiving end

Left wing moralists
In self serving denial
They shit me no end


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PostPosted: Tue Jan 21, 2020 10:22 pm 
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Stephen Silvagni
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Joined: Wed Apr 19, 2006 11:39 am
Posts: 29763
Location: riding shotgun on Agros Karma Train
kezza wrote:
sinbagger wrote:
Once a long time ago when I was young I yelled at Michael Tuck as he chased a ball along the boundary at the MCG, I yelled that he was an old man and should retire. My mate told me to shut up as the Ablett clan was sitting a few rows behind us.

I have a similar story.
I was at the MCG yelling at Robert Walls, who was having a bad game.
A woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said that he was her husband.
I think we lost.
I had a similar occurrence yelling at Jason Cloke, his dad was behind us. I shut up very quickly

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2020 6:40 am 
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Alex Jesaulenko
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Joined: Mon Feb 28, 2005 4:00 pm
Posts: 24282
Location: Kaloyasena
kingkerna wrote:
kezza wrote:
sinbagger wrote:
Once a long time ago when I was young I yelled at Michael Tuck as he chased a ball along the boundary at the MCG, I yelled that he was an old man and should retire. My mate told me to shut up as the Ablett clan was sitting a few rows behind us.

I have a similar story.
I was at the MCG yelling at Robert Walls, who was having a bad game.
A woman behind me tapped me on the shoulder and said that he was her husband.
I think we lost.
I had a similar occurrence yelling at Jason Cloke, his dad was behind us. I shut up very quickly

Sent from my SM-G965F using Tapatalk



You’re lucky it wasn’t his mum

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PostPosted: Wed Jan 22, 2020 11:01 pm 
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Geoff Southby

Joined: Tue Nov 03, 2009 7:24 pm
Posts: 5537
Location: Bridge, Starship Enterprise
A fair while ago, when we were still playing at PP, Mrs Teddy was wearing my old kid's blues jumper with 42 on the back. Wool with no advertising! We were sitting in the Elliott Stand as members and she had to go to the toilet as ladies do.

Walked behind the commentary boxes and there is Wallsy who was doing special comments having a break and eating a banana.

She rushes back to tell me she saw my childhood hero. I rushed up and had a very nice conversation with him. Ended up along the lines of "how long do you think before we are up again?". The answer "at least five years" He got the "at least" right.

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"Get ready, Teddy - you're on": Ron Barassi half time 1970 Grand Final


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 1:45 am 
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Bruce Comben

Joined: Tue May 28, 2019 11:39 pm
Posts: 30
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?

Get in the sack yourself with the new bloke whilst you wear a Carlton jumper and check for his reaction. You may end up in the E.D. but hey at least you will be better informed


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 9:32 am 
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Bruce Doull
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Joined: Mon Mar 07, 2005 10:24 am
Posts: 38975
Location: seaside
E.D. ...

soft cock...?


kindest regards tommi

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that'siti'mnotchangingthistagain......!


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PostPosted: Thu Jan 23, 2020 12:30 pm 
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Stephen Kernahan
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Joined: Fri Feb 09, 2007 10:56 am
Posts: 19501
Location: Progreso, Yucatan, MEXICO
17 Too Far Away wrote:
Blue Sombrero wrote:
My ex girlfriend in Tassie told me her new bloke said he had played for Carlton.
When I told her he didn't, she told me she had seen a photo of him in a Carlton jumper.
So I went to the archives and proved he hadn't.
She accused me of being pedantic.
I accused her of being a two-timing bitch.
She said he was better in the sack than me.

How do you come back at that?

Get in the sack yourself with the new bloke whilst you wear a Carlton jumper and check for his reaction. You may end up in the E.D. but hey at least you will be better informed

Nah.
I married a hot Mexican chick instead.

_________________
Let slip the Blues of war (with apologies to William Shakespeare) (and Sir Francis Bacon, just in case)


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PostPosted: Mon Jan 27, 2020 11:04 pm 
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Bruce Comben

Joined: Tue May 28, 2019 11:39 pm
Posts: 30
Is it slightly disturbing that as soon as I read this the first thing that immediately popped into my head is that stupid nachos tv ad where the kid says "why can't we have both?"


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